Tomorrow, we will be starting a new chapter of our journey. You are starting school. Thankfully, I will be able to go with you and help during this transition for a few days. I will meet your teachers and therapists and by mid week, I will learn to be a big girl and let go so you can be a big girl too. I know this is what you need, so I keep reminding myself, I am doing this for your growth and learning
To be honest, to say this is hard is a complete understatement. I have been a complete emotional wreck during the past few months, especially this past week. I have had the joy of caring for you full-time every single day since you were born. You are my little buddy. Your school day will be five hours, more time than we have spent apart at this point. Crazy, huh? I thoroughly enjoy being your mommy.
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| Your my little buddy |
We have been preparing for this day in the last five months. I was fighting so hard to go to Perkins School for the Blind, until I had a change of heart. Trust me, Perkins is amazing. The staff, resources, and everything is amazing. However, we went for a school day as part of the admissions process and I left feeling sad. I was sad because the other children were unable to come and talk you. I left knowing that if I wasn't open to our placement on the Northshore, then I would be depriving you from peer interaction. So Mommy decided that an integrated class room is something I really wanted for you. You will be in a classroom with typical and disabled peers. The drive to Perkins would be an hour or more and your new school is less than fifteen minutes. The director at your new school is the reason we had Mary, our TVI, so this puts me at ease too. However, I am still anxious.
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| You'll do great at school! After all, you are a superhero!! |
I am trying to pinpoint this anxiety. I feel that every mother has this feeling, but I feel that it may be a bit more intense for me. I guess because at this point, I know you wont understand that I will be back for you each and every day. I can't just tell you and you will understand, however, I will tell you everyday. Maybe it is because you don't see me? Leaving a child who doesn't see or talk is different from those who do. Mommy just needs to put on her big girl pants and know that you will be in good hands.
Preparing for school, I first bought you an apple dress for your first day. I also made a matching bow, go figure. Today, I searched for objects that could represent school and going home and I am still struggling a bit finding the perfect toys. I promise to figure this out soon. I also bought you a new bag to carry all your stuff back and forth. I did buy a ladybug backpack, but because you need more room, I decided on another bag. It's crazy to think you are going to school.
We had a nice weekend. We spent time with the Allison's Friday and Saturday. You danced with Nicolas which was so cute. I held you up and he held your arms. It was so sweet. Today, you were able to enjoy your ladybug pool in your new country bumpkin bathing suit. You are stunning in red. Tonight, Daddy and I took you out for ice cream. Daddy chose coffee ice cream and I chose a twist, which you ate 2/3 of and still wanted more. I think it is about time to order you your own.
Sweet Savannah Mae, I really hope you love school. I hope we see great progress . Please never forget that I love you more than anything and together, we will get through this change. Sleep tight. You will need the energy tomorrow. I love you to the moon and back!!!
Love,
Mommy
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