Happy Half Birthday, Sweet Pea!!!

Dear Savannah,

We have been on this journey for three and a half years today. I am so beyond blessed to be your mother and I love every second of it. You are my tiniest teacher and never in a million years would I have imagined that someone so tiny, could teach me so much.

At three in a half years, you are still working on sitting, but you are stronger and stronger every day. You roll, and roll, and roll. I feel exhausted as if I'm chasing a toddler running wild but instead, I'm constantly make sure you are not rolling into tables and tv stands and that you are safe. You do seem to be aware when you get close to something, which is great and I am sure as you get older, you will be even more aware. You are lifting your head with ease and keeping it up longer than ever. Sometimes Daddy and I wish we could wrap you in bubble wrap, or at least your precious little noggin.

I honestly have no idea what you are seeing, other than light. I know that you are motivated by food. Your spoon, you hold it longer than anything and you turn your head in the direction of food. Is this smell, or sight? Only you know, however you are your fathers daughter and he is very proud of your eating:)

You are bearing more and more weight on your tiny little feet. You still wear 0-12 month socks. You also are in 18-24 month clothes and a few 2t. Your are tiny and petite and perfect in every way. You are 23 pounds but I'm not concerned because your diet is very healthy.

You have been going to school for five months and you are thriving. I'm happy to get a chance to observe you in your classroom as much as I can. You may not be the youngest, but currently, you are the adored "baby" in the school and might I add, best dressed too. You're a cool kid!!

I love everything about you. Your tangled, but gorgeous dark brown hair. Your smile, it is so infectious and takes over your body. Your eyelashes are enough to create the word jealousy. Your eyes, I'm envious of the hazel green color, the brown speck at 7 o'clock in your left eye, and the way your eyes sparkle. I love your dimple, your rosy cheeks, your little hands and feet and well, everything.

Smiling with your entire body

I love the way you reach for me as you fall asleep. It melts my heart. I also completely adore how you put your finger in your mouth as if you are thinking, just as you drift off into a deep sleep. You turn your wrist inward and even with all my efforts to fix this, it seems comfortable for you. You look so sweet and angelic as you sleep.

Deep in Dreamland

Perfection

You love music, especially my crazy songs that often include your name, mommy, daddy, and anything we might be doing at that moment. You smile mostly when I kiss your cheek. Sometimes you turn your head as if it is a game. You also love to have your feet kicked up, especially when you are eating. You use us as a footstool and I think it is so cute. You love fruit of all kinds and yougurt too. Five guys hamburgers are still a favorite. You also like sweets. You must get that from Daddy ;)

Your favorite toys are your tap bells, xylophone, musical garden, Neptune turtle, bumblebee, mozart music cube and all musical apps on the iPad. Did I mention you love music?  Your favorite toy this year- your tap bells:) (Thank you Mimi)

You currently wear pink and lavender glasses. We have a vision appointment in a few weeks and once we know more, we might add a third pair. You don't mind your glasses, however you have a few strong dilikes. You hate having your hair brushed, or your teeth. You dislike your reflux pill but strongly detest Benadryl (given only when sick). You are so smart. You hold it in your mouth, and just when we think you swallowed, it pours out of mouth. You also really dislike having you nose wiped.

In all my years and all my experience with children, I have never know such delight when you wake from a cat nap. You are happy, and you know happy, and that is all that matters in life. You are my littlest inspiration and my favorite thing in life. You are amazing.

After a Nap

Savannah Mae, thank you!! Thank you for being you and teaching me. Thank you for inspiring me as your mommy and as your number one advocate. I will always be here for you to help you and protect you along the way. Parenting you, a child with special needs, is a gift, the greatest, most precious gift. Maybe I was hesitant in the beginning that this journey would have true happiness and meaning, but now I can say with confidence, you have made me a better person and I can't thank you enough. Happy 1/2 birthday to my favorite little girl. I love you so much!!

Love, Mommy

Advocate for Life...

Dear Savannah Mae,

As our journey has progressed, I am trying to become more aware of your needs and less concerned about judgement. I guess it's about being the best advocate.  I know you best and I truly have the best understanding of you, not to mention best interest at heart.

Today, we attended a family party. You really don't care much for parties, especially indoor parties. It is a totally sensory overload for you. We went anyway because it was for your cousin. As family gathered around the table to sing Happy Birthday, I could feel your body becoming more overwhelmed. When I mean overwhelmed, I mean throwing your body back, hands up over your head, with tightness  running from your head to your toes. I kinda joked and said that you needed earmuffs for this setting. I do feel that something may be beneficial someday, maybe music and headphones? something to give you a calming sense when things are a bit crazy. I was not thrilled by the snarky remark that it was me who was overwhelmed, not you. Yes, it can be overwhelming to be in a place where you feel judged.

Comfy with Mommy.

I guess in these situations I feel defeated. Really?? Can someone who spends little time with you really know your needs? Maybe it's because I'm your mama bear? I am protective of you, very much so. I keep you with me when we are in these settings, holding you and trying to give you the calm that a mama can bring to their child. I know you. I know that you have never really been one who loves to be cuddled, held, passed from person to person. I know that you startle easily, it's been said that you may have a severe startle reflex and I wholeheartedly believe it. You startle at a sneeze, ice cubes from the fridge, a cough, motorcycle, and even when you don't anticipate conversation. I know that because of your low vision, this makes it hard. I do. It is different for you as a three year old and some of your disabilities are overlooked in settings such as this. Crazy thing is, you don't seem overwhelmed at school, or at least that's what your teacher says. I feel this is accurate considering most days, you come home with happy reports. Sandy is very in tune to your emotions and I am so proud of you for adjusting to your school environment.

Little Warrior in your Little Room

Speaking of school I am so happy with the class we chose. Inclusion is wonderful and I am really happy we chose this path for you. I had two, very happy reports this past week, which is a sign to me that you aren't overwhelmed. It's nice to feel you are included in activities with other children with and without special needs. You are the baby in the classroom and in the entire school. Everyone who knows you loves you. One thing I know for sure, "I will love you for always, and for everything that you are." To me, there is not a greater bond than loving you!!

I hope you feel better tomorrow. It has been almost three weeks of a yucky cold. Wednesday and Thursday of this week, you smiled at life the way I smile about you. I love you sweet pea.

Classic smile after a cat nap!!

Love, Mommy