As our journey has progressed, I am trying to become more aware of your needs and less concerned about judgement. I guess it's about being the best advocate. I know you best and I truly have the best understanding of you, not to mention best interest at heart.
Today, we attended a family party. You really don't care much for parties, especially indoor parties. It is a totally sensory overload for you. We went anyway because it was for your cousin. As family gathered around the table to sing Happy Birthday, I could feel your body becoming more overwhelmed. When I mean overwhelmed, I mean throwing your body back, hands up over your head, with tightness running from your head to your toes. I kinda joked and said that you needed earmuffs for this setting. I do feel that something may be beneficial someday, maybe music and headphones? something to give you a calming sense when things are a bit crazy. I was not thrilled by the snarky remark that it was me who was overwhelmed, not you. Yes, it can be overwhelming to be in a place where you feel judged.
 |
| Comfy with Mommy. |
I guess in these situations I feel defeated. Really?? Can someone who spends little time with you really know your needs? Maybe it's because I'm your mama bear? I am protective of you, very much so. I keep you with me when we are in these settings, holding you and trying to give you the calm that a mama can bring to their child. I know you. I know that you have never really been one who loves to be cuddled, held, passed from person to person. I know that you startle easily, it's been said that you may have a severe startle reflex and I wholeheartedly believe it. You startle at a sneeze, ice cubes from the fridge, a cough, motorcycle, and even when you don't anticipate conversation. I know that because of your low vision, this makes it hard. I do. It is different for you as a three year old and some of your disabilities are overlooked in settings such as this. Crazy thing is, you don't seem overwhelmed at school, or at least that's what your teacher says. I feel this is accurate considering most days, you come home with happy reports. Sandy is very in tune to your emotions and I am so proud of you for adjusting to your school environment.
 |
| Little Warrior in your Little Room |
Speaking of school I am so happy with the class we chose. Inclusion is wonderful and I am really happy we chose this path for you. I had two, very happy reports this past week, which is a sign to me that you aren't overwhelmed. It's nice to feel you are included in activities with other children with and without special needs. You are the baby in the classroom and in the entire school. Everyone who knows you loves you. One thing I know for sure, "I will love you for always, and for everything that you are." To me, there is not a greater bond than loving you!!
I hope you feel better tomorrow. It has been almost three weeks of a yucky cold. Wednesday and Thursday of this week, you smiled at life the way I smile about you. I love you sweet pea.
 |
| Classic smile after a cat nap!! |
Love, Mommy
No comments:
Post a Comment